My Life Is In Your Hands
I am learning, though I suppose i've always known it in my heart, that life can be quite unpredictable. I turned 25 on June 12, and boy my life feels and looks a lot different that what I expected it to be at 25, when I was 15 years old...or for that matter 20 years old.
This year has been a somewhat a whirlwind of landmark events. February 2007, I made that giant step (at least it was for me) to move out on my own. After teeter tottering on the shore of indecision and uncertainty for so long, I finally decided (through counsel of course) to make the big lunge. Sink or swim, do or die, has been my motto in 2007, and boy oh boy, it's been certainly a trial of my faith.
Anyhoo, so I moved out on my own, and absolutely LOVE it. I can't even express how nice it is to have my OWN place. My very own peaceful habitation. It's not huge, or gorgeous or anything like that, but it is mine.
Also, I decided to start my music studies, officially and whole-heartedly at Columbia College. Actually I had started going in Fall 2006, but there were complications and a few setbacks that I endured, so I say my real studies began in January. Wow, a lot of changes, right? I was taking the train between Joliet and Chicago almost everyday, except on the evenings when I had late classes and I was driving into Chicago or staying at my parents. New school, new place, new (longer) commute? NO PROBLEM!
RIIIIGGGHTTT!!! Then things started getting weird at work. One word for you:MERGER. Oh yeah, we went through a merger and long story short, I lost my JOB. I have been officially unemployed since June 30th. Since that time i've had job prospects come through and then dissipate. Including one job at a well known community music school, that looked very promising. I mean it got so close that I was called in for interview #2, one of only 3 canidates that received a callback. I thought for sure God had set this aside for me. I mean the timing in which I saw the posting, and received my call for first and second interviews seemed perfect. It seemed to be on of those divine appointments one of those situations that only God could orchestrate and ordain. Only to have it all end in, someone else knew how to use RAISER's EDGE getting the job. A computer program! Something I could probably learn to use in one day, was my downfall. Well, needless to say I was disappointed. I still can barely wrap my mind around that one, but perhaps it's not for me to understand. The Lord works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.
Well, my faith says that he's working wonders anyway, though my eyes have yet to behold the manifestation of his works. So, I guess this goes back to my original statement. 25 is not at all looking the way I thought it would look. I'm still chasing that ever elusive B.A., unemployed, obviously unmarried and unfamil(ied) (those two are TOTALLY in God's hands)... and if i thought hard enough I'm sure I could add a few more things to this list. So, in a nutshell, no i'm not quite where I expected to be when I was a teenager, but I am still SOOOOOOOOO blessed. I can honestly say that God has been good to me. I have more now that i've EVER had in my life. It was my desire to move out before I turned 25, and God has blessed me to obtain (and maintain) that goal. God blessed me with a nice car, and the wherewithal to maintain it. He's blessed me above all, to stay saved and increased my desire to know him more. He's made me glad. Through all this, I can honestly say I am not depressed or worried, and I know that's more than what the world can say about their problems. I am truly happy with my life and all that God has done for me. AND i don't think God's done with me yet. I really believe that this is just the beginning for me. I have a whole lifetime to live, if God allows and i'm determined to make the best of it. I've been quoting to myself lately a very popular scripture...
"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
I totally can't do a thing about my past. Whether the circumstances that brought me to this place were of my own doing, like a personal failure or setback or if I'm here because of someone else, or because this is just God's plan for me (this around the way, off the beaten path ...). I don't have time or energy to sit and focus on the past, or on what I don't have. I have not attained all, neither am I already perfect, but I keep following Christ so that I may obtain all the things in my life that Christ ordained to give me when he saved me from my sins. But this requires me to forget, to reach and press and to just submit my life into the hands of the one who can help me obtain and attain all. Of course, I have a song that I think sums up my feelings regarding my situation right now. My life is in God's hands, and clearly he has his own ideas for what I should do and be. I said it when I got it (you can look back at old posts on this very same blog) that I know God gave me my job, and my promotion. Psalm says that "Promotion is from the Lord". But the word also says that the Lord giveth and he taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. So I say thank you Lord for the time spent at AHA, thank for for all the things I learned, all the people I met, all the opportunities I had, for the promotion, for proving to me that you're really all the credintials I need. So i'm resolved to keep this song resonating in my heart that...
"My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without hope
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands"
Be Blessed!
This year has been a somewhat a whirlwind of landmark events. February 2007, I made that giant step (at least it was for me) to move out on my own. After teeter tottering on the shore of indecision and uncertainty for so long, I finally decided (through counsel of course) to make the big lunge. Sink or swim, do or die, has been my motto in 2007, and boy oh boy, it's been certainly a trial of my faith.
Anyhoo, so I moved out on my own, and absolutely LOVE it. I can't even express how nice it is to have my OWN place. My very own peaceful habitation. It's not huge, or gorgeous or anything like that, but it is mine.
Also, I decided to start my music studies, officially and whole-heartedly at Columbia College. Actually I had started going in Fall 2006, but there were complications and a few setbacks that I endured, so I say my real studies began in January. Wow, a lot of changes, right? I was taking the train between Joliet and Chicago almost everyday, except on the evenings when I had late classes and I was driving into Chicago or staying at my parents. New school, new place, new (longer) commute? NO PROBLEM!
RIIIIGGGHTTT!!! Then things started getting weird at work. One word for you:MERGER. Oh yeah, we went through a merger and long story short, I lost my JOB. I have been officially unemployed since June 30th. Since that time i've had job prospects come through and then dissipate. Including one job at a well known community music school, that looked very promising. I mean it got so close that I was called in for interview #2, one of only 3 canidates that received a callback. I thought for sure God had set this aside for me. I mean the timing in which I saw the posting, and received my call for first and second interviews seemed perfect. It seemed to be on of those divine appointments one of those situations that only God could orchestrate and ordain. Only to have it all end in, someone else knew how to use RAISER's EDGE getting the job. A computer program! Something I could probably learn to use in one day, was my downfall. Well, needless to say I was disappointed. I still can barely wrap my mind around that one, but perhaps it's not for me to understand. The Lord works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.
Well, my faith says that he's working wonders anyway, though my eyes have yet to behold the manifestation of his works. So, I guess this goes back to my original statement. 25 is not at all looking the way I thought it would look. I'm still chasing that ever elusive B.A., unemployed, obviously unmarried and unfamil(ied) (those two are TOTALLY in God's hands)... and if i thought hard enough I'm sure I could add a few more things to this list. So, in a nutshell, no i'm not quite where I expected to be when I was a teenager, but I am still SOOOOOOOOO blessed. I can honestly say that God has been good to me. I have more now that i've EVER had in my life. It was my desire to move out before I turned 25, and God has blessed me to obtain (and maintain) that goal. God blessed me with a nice car, and the wherewithal to maintain it. He's blessed me above all, to stay saved and increased my desire to know him more. He's made me glad. Through all this, I can honestly say I am not depressed or worried, and I know that's more than what the world can say about their problems. I am truly happy with my life and all that God has done for me. AND i don't think God's done with me yet. I really believe that this is just the beginning for me. I have a whole lifetime to live, if God allows and i'm determined to make the best of it. I've been quoting to myself lately a very popular scripture...
"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
I totally can't do a thing about my past. Whether the circumstances that brought me to this place were of my own doing, like a personal failure or setback or if I'm here because of someone else, or because this is just God's plan for me (this around the way, off the beaten path ...). I don't have time or energy to sit and focus on the past, or on what I don't have. I have not attained all, neither am I already perfect, but I keep following Christ so that I may obtain all the things in my life that Christ ordained to give me when he saved me from my sins. But this requires me to forget, to reach and press and to just submit my life into the hands of the one who can help me obtain and attain all. Of course, I have a song that I think sums up my feelings regarding my situation right now. My life is in God's hands, and clearly he has his own ideas for what I should do and be. I said it when I got it (you can look back at old posts on this very same blog) that I know God gave me my job, and my promotion. Psalm says that "Promotion is from the Lord". But the word also says that the Lord giveth and he taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. So I say thank you Lord for the time spent at AHA, thank for for all the things I learned, all the people I met, all the opportunities I had, for the promotion, for proving to me that you're really all the credintials I need. So i'm resolved to keep this song resonating in my heart that...
"My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without hope
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands"
Be Blessed!
2 Comments:
At 5:34 PM,
bellemj said…
wow, that was a good testimony. stop by my blog sometime...i dont thnk i've ever "seen" you there. luv!
At 2:03 PM,
Unknown said…
wow Jacks and to think I was goin thru something- Well hon even tho I'm not wheer I need to be spiritually this really did enlighten me! LOVE YA HON LOTS!!
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